How to be a Seductress

How to be a Seductress

This Blog had such INTENSE reactions - positive, judgemental and misunderstood. I realized that I needed to rewrite it, so that I would be more clear that I believe that women hold all the cards - and I AM about empowering women and that I believe there are ways for women to reclaim their sexuality and their sexual power.

Thank you for all your comments - ALL of them - I love that you all felt passionate about what I said, one way or another.



26 comments (Add your own)

1. Tami wrote:
THis is why I like you so much. Thanks for the great post!

Tue, May 19, 2009 @ 5:44 AM

2. sarah wrote:
So, basically, just act like a sex object and the boys will come a runnin'. Fab.

Tue, May 19, 2009 @ 2:46 PM

3. Shelia wrote:
This is stellar, and oh so true, thanks again for the informative blog post. :)

Tue, May 19, 2009 @ 3:40 PM

4. Dolphina fan wrote:
Hi Dolphina,

I've enjoyed your videos etc, but I would like to see some 'no seductress go zone' lay off taken/married men and don't flirt with taken/married men.

Seductresses who know no boundaries are the ruin of many a good relationship, and although I don't believe you've done that at any time, it would be nice just for once to see some one say "taken men are no go zones". Even the most innocent flirting with a taken man can be dangerous and destroy a relationship or family unit. There is nothing more embarrassing or insulting to a woman than when a 'seductress' decides to flirt with your man in your face.

I am all for being sexy and seductive, but there are fine lines between seductress and s l u t (oh I hate to use that word here on your lovely blog) and the thrill of being seductive and sexy to men is not worth the pain to another.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading this blog. I love complimenting my man and yes, smouldering looks from eyes to lips to eyes does work ladies!

Tue, May 19, 2009 @ 6:46 PM

5. Christina wrote:
His CAR?! You are officially my hero. I know some go with the whole I don't need a man, blah blah blah. Seriously, if I can ever get a man to give me his car....I will definitely know I have arrived. Not that I'm shooting for that, but it would be an indicator I could deal with.

Wed, May 20, 2009 @ 1:29 PM

6. Constandina wrote:
Many kudos to you for boldly sharing your intimate experiences and advice with us...we have much to learn from you Dolphina! xo

Wed, May 20, 2009 @ 3:15 PM

7. Karee wrote:
Ms. Dolphina, you are truly the bomb. I hope when I lose the rest of my weight I can be as confident as you. Keep up the good work.

Wed, May 20, 2009 @ 9:22 PM

8. Heather wrote:
Thank you for sharing, so glad there are women out there who are willing help those of us eager to learn!

Mon, June 15, 2009 @ 3:42 PM

9. molly wrote:
Sarah, i think these techniques are about so much more than objectifying yourself as a women. Any woman can demean herself, objectify herself and get someone to sleep with them. I think that they're more about maintaining a sense of mystery and being a confident person that can use their body to speak what they are thinking. Ms. Dolphina said that these techniques can be used if you are already married, and I think that it is within marriage that these tool can be the most powerful, and are most desperately needed. Go back to the top and think of what it would look like if you were to use these techniques within the context of a committed monogamous relationship. Any woman can get a thousand men to sleep with her for one night if she tries hard enough, but it takes a true goddess to be with one man a thousand nights. to keep the seduction alive. that where the skills of seduction are most beneficial.

Tue, June 16, 2009 @ 10:41 AM

10. Rebecca wrote:
Molly, have you ever told a guy that you were good at giving oral sex? This isn't to "be mysterious" or "show confidence" it's to get the guy to think about what you would be like in bed. Which is the exact definition of objectifying yourself.

Tue, June 23, 2009 @ 6:04 PM

11. Lyn wrote: are a woman after my own heart. Seduction is an art and a powerful ally for women. Thanks for your inspiring work.

Lyn Desir

Mon, August 10, 2009 @ 9:46 PM

12. Kari wrote:
This sounds familiar. I think it was something my mother taught me as a teen. That (as long as used correctly, and with moral limitations) seduction can be used not to objectify but to mystify.

Dolphina is trying to make women understand that they can be WOMEN, sexy and uninhibited and strong, without having to play by the rules of puritans passed down generation by generation.

Though yes, coming straight out and saying that you took an oral class and happened to be the valedictorian is a slightly... obvious... hint, something as simple as stating to my fiance that I'm taking belly dance courses sparked a strong curiosity in him. She's saying that you should embrace being a woman and use that womanhood and it's gifts to be in charge of your life... instead of being drug around on some guy's keychain.

I've been in some pretty rough relationships where all I ended up doing was cleaning and doing what I had to do to make the guy happy. I'm happier now that I have embraced my womanhood (with help from Ms. Dolphina of course) and begun to use the assets that it entails (with limitations... married is always off-limits, taken is off-limits, and even soon-to-be-divorced is off limits; that's just social courtesy). She's not saying that you should use your womanly tools and seductive abilities to get laid. She's saying to use them to be a woman, and enjoy the VERY SHORT life you have.

Just my opinion.

Tue, September 8, 2009 @ 2:08 AM

13. Kari wrote:
Iiiii understand what you meant by this blog Dolphina, and thank you for reminding me. :)

Tue, September 8, 2009 @ 2:09 AM

14. Laurel White. wrote:
A nicely written blog, I agree married/separated/taken are off limits ladies.. I wouldn't want it done too me,however, i feel if you have a strong healthy relationship that's open and trustworthy,you shouldn't be threatened by's good to know your mate is still attractive to the opposite sex. And remind him later, how it turned u on watching other women check him out. (That's a compliment)
Being "present" fully in the moment is a turn on also....Men really like to know they bring joy to their woman, so let him know u enjoy him. Or they may just go find someone who does.

Sun, September 27, 2009 @ 12:16 PM

15. Dina wrote:


"His CAR?! You are officially my hero. I know some go with the whole I don't need a man, blah blah blah. Seriously, if I can ever get a man to give me his car..."

His DAD's car. According to the article. I don't know if it's me, but I feel like giving away someone else's car doesn't hurt all that much! *Sarcasm off"

Mon, September 28, 2009 @ 11:54 AM

16. Ashley wrote:
Is it ok to seduce a man through song as his #1 weakness? because I feel as if I hadn't captured my inner seductress yet and if it is,please tell me how and thanks a lot.

Mon, October 19, 2009 @ 10:54 PM

17. Ashley wrote:
Is it ok to use your favorite song as a secret weapon in the art of seduction? because I want to try to seduce this cutie on my tagged page through song and if it's perfect,please tell me how I can do it and thank you.

Mon, October 19, 2009 @ 10:58 PM

18. Ashley wrote:
is it ok to seduce him with strawberries dipped in chocolate? if it is,thanks.

Mon, October 19, 2009 @ 11:00 PM

19. Ashley wrote:
is it fine to seduce a man lyrically and poetically? if so,please and thank you.

Mon, October 19, 2009 @ 11:03 PM

20. ashley wrote:
this blog is great thank you for being helpful.

Wed, November 11, 2009 @ 9:47 PM

21. Kara wrote:
Hey There,

So I agree with what your saying. But what happens if the guy you are trying flirt with, you work with him... and the only time you see him would be in that work environment... you cant possibly do this in or at a work setting. It would be entirely unprofessional... How would you get him interested enough to ask you out to coffee or for a few drinks? Or what would be a suttle way of flirting in a work environment? How can you tell he is even interested?? I have had a lot of experience when it comes to guys. and normally things that i do works. But this guy is different. Most guys that i have delt with are complete losers unfortunately. Not this guy! He is a great guy. That kind of guy every girl wishes she could have... How do i go about this? Sorry I hope i am not bothering you. I just feel like im a whole different level here.

Mon, January 4, 2010 @ 4:34 PM

22. kimberly wrote:
Kara. In the work environment you need to be especially mindful/careful so that you personally don't get into trouble with HR. (this could happen, for example, if you flirted with this guy and he's not interested and turns you into the the HR dept for harassment.) Kara, I recommend being as subtle as possible while in the work environment. Work him slowly. Research. Find out what captures his attention (you already know how to do this). Work slowly and patiently. He'll respond. Either way, he will respond and you'll KNOW. (but you'll need to listen and watch closely I think, because IF he's careful (work environment) his response to YOU will ALSO be subtle. Sounds like you know what you're doing. :) Good luck and have fun.

Fri, January 8, 2010 @ 10:59 PM

23. Aliyah wrote:
A wonderful article! I am in engaged to an open man, and I really enjoy flirting with guys still; plus, being a Siren on stage requires an element of seduction, so this was a very helpful article to me.
I read these comments about how married/taken men are off-limits, but in my mind, if you are friends with a guy who you admire, there is going to be some flirtation going on. It may not be as purposeful or directional as other seduction, but its still present. And its not meant to break apart his relationship. I think people tend to be so jealous and hold on to their significant other so tightly, its only detrimental to their relationship. If you learn to loosen that jealousy, even enough that its ok to flirt with others, it is much easier to stay together for a long, long time. That's my opinion. Two years ago, I would never have said this, but at this point in my life, this is what I believe.

Again, a wonderful, inspiring article!

Fri, April 16, 2010 @ 12:47 PM

24. Kristi wrote:
Truer words were never spoken! I received my last two raises after using my innate ability to make men coddle to my wishes.

Tue, January 4, 2011 @ 10:58 AM

25. Guy wrote:
"I believe that women hold all the cards"

Can't really argue when the pic above does eloquently prove the point ... a woman in such a pose with legs like those especially ... innate gifts + confidence are a winning combination.

Hope you do rewrite the post and achieve just the balance you're looking for. Came across the lovely pic on a random Google search ...

Tue, January 26, 2016 @ 1:16 PM

26. Guy Gardner wrote:
Hi again. Just wanted to add that you really shouldn't worry too much about pleasing everyone with a piece like this, if you ever try to revise it. This is an inherently "tricky" topic. Some people will inevitably have reductive and simplistic responses, like the second above.

I'm not surprised you didn't post my comment. After all, the last one was years ago, I'm male, etc. Don't post this one, either! ;-)

Just thought it might amuse you to know how I came across the pic. I had searched Google images for "seductress" because I was looking for some inspiration for a scene I'm writing in a work of fiction. Of all the pics that popped up, I easily liked this one the best. And the article title sounded quite interesting, so I took a look at the page itself, too.

(Men are interested in these things, esp. from a woman's point of view. And I have some wonderful memories of being seduced by attractive women over the years that show again who has the cards. Wonderful indeed . . .)

Anyway, the pose in the pic may well help inspire me for my scene, so thank you. Although it was titled "Satisfied," it could just as easily be "Come to me." I'm gathering that's actually you? If so, WOW! You have very remarkable natural beauty but also have clearly taken extremely good care of yourself. Congrats. And thanks for sharing such a great shot with the world.

The larger version of the pic, which I downloaded, will be added to my "Classy Legs" collection--just a very selective group of tasteful images of women showing off their gorgeous legs. Yes, I've always been a hopeless "leg man" . . .

Hope you have a lovely day.

And don't worry--I will not write to you unprompted again! (I just checked back to see whether you had posted my last. And if that's you, I'm sure you've been fending off enough males since you were quite young. Not my aim to add to your list!)

Wed, January 27, 2016 @ 2:52 PM

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