What is the exact cocktail of intoxicating traits that make Marilyn Monroe the ultimate sex symbol? And why do these attributes preserve her status as a sexual icon remarkably 50 years after her passing?
Did she possess a sexy body? Absolutely. Were some of the world’s most powerful & fascinating men seduced by her? Definitely. Was she beautiful? Without question.
But we could give precisely the identical answers about hundreds of famously sexy women. What makes Marilyn in a league all her own? And what unique lessons can we learn from the immortal sex Goddess that we can apply to our own lives?
If there were an actual science to flirting, Marilyn would hold the highest degree in this field of study. She flirted with her costars, during press conferences and most of all: she flirted with the camera. She could flirt with the entire audience and yet, miraculously make each person feel like they were the only one she was flirting with.
Lessons from MM: In my Art of Seduction workshops, one simple technique I teach women to begin flirty banter is to offer up a small confession that is provocative and will bond you and your new friend. This will create a playful intimacy (which is what flirting is all about). One of Marilyn’s most famous ‘confessions’ came during a press conference when asked what she wore to bed. MM replied, “What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.”
Many people that worked with Marilyn or knew her personally spoke of this luminescent energy, a light that she emanated. A quote I read in a book once so eloquently described this phenomenon: “When she entered the room, she took all the available light”.
Lessons from MM: We all possess an inner light and we can all remember those truly magic moments or nights that we were positively radiating. This energy is who we truly are on the inside suddenly made visible to others. This glow is simply irresistible to anyone in the near vicinity, but when you shine that light onto another person, it’s more powerful than any elixir money can buy. Shine on!
Marilyn essentially started the sexual revolution of the 1960’s. And this was no easy feat! She became a star in the early 1950’s – a time when the most popular TV show at the time, I Love Lucy, was forced to feature Lucy and Ricky (a notoriously married couple) sleeping in separate beds! The American housewife was oppressed and repressed in many ways, particularly when it came to her sexuality. But Marilyn put a new twist on sexuality: it was not dirty, shameful, shocking or embarrassing. It was fun and funny. Marilyn made no apologies that sex was enjoyable and not just fun for men! Marilyn shared this sentiment openly during interviews, “I am invariably late for appointments - sometimes as much as two hours. I've tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing.” And these suggestive statements were often more to the point as with this quote, “Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.”
Lessons from MM: I have also heard this exact concept from men: what they find sexiest about a woman is a woman who enjoys not just giving pleasure, but receiving it as well. Cast away judgments and delight in your entire sexual being! Enjoy being a feminine creature and have fun!
Marilyn was the original when it came to turning scandal into opportunity. Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian look like they ripped the pages right out of her biography, but unfortunately skimped on the sympathy and charm that MM created. Marilyn had many scandals during her career, but her first was her most memorable and successful (and reinforces her putting a new twist on sexuality). It was 1952 and America was sexually repressed. Up until then, Marilyn had only had small bit parts in films, but that same year, Marilyn was finally featured in 4 movies when simultaneously a nude calendar of her began to appear in gas stations across the country. The photos were from a photo shoot she had posed for years previously and they were now making her a household name. For most actresses in the early 1950’s, this would have meant sudden death for her acting career. Instead, Marilyn responded to the scandal head-on and with her special brand of humor. When asked what she was wearing, she joked, “It’s not true that I had nothing on…I had the radio on”. And when they asked her why she posed nude, her honest answer was one everyone could understand, “It paid $50 and I needed the money to pay my rent”.
Lessons from MM: Now, please do not infer that I am telling you to create a scandal in order to enhance your sex appeal. However, when you feel like life has thrown a tomato at you, make spicy tomato sauce! Everyone makes mistakes or faux pas and people are very forgiving of those who face their blunders with a, “mea culpa” – especially if you can make it into memorable witty one-liner!
I cannot think of anyone in the world who was more vulnerable than Marilyn Monroe. She was soft and sweet and gave you the feeling that she would never hurt you. And if you are now wondering what the hell does vulnerability have to do with being a sex goddess – watch Brene Brown’s TED Talk on the Power of Vulnerability immediately! (key word is Power and it will change your perception on how to love) Brene is a researcher on the topic of vulnerability and speaks about the fact that vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, of belonging, of tenderness and love. Marilyn’s ability to be vulnerable for the whole world to see made us all feel connected to her and all these emotions. Vulnerability is about feeling ALL emotions – you cannot pick and choose what you want to feel. Either you are vulnerable and feel every emotion or you numb yourself and don’t allow yourself to feel.
Lessons from MM: We are all wounded and have many reasons to protect our hearts – heaven knows Marilyn certainly had plenty of reasons to also do so, but her heart was wide open for all of us to see…just look at her big wide eyes. Marilyn allowed her self to be seen and vulnerably seen. She loved with her whole heart even though there is never a guarantee.Take chances, leap, say I love you, dare and FEEL!
Marilyn was all woman. She declared, “I'm very definitely a woman and I enjoy it.” She had womanly curves and she wiggled when she walked. Most of all, Marilyn enjoyed her femininity. She said, “Beauty and femininity are ageless and can't be contrived, and glamour, although the manufacturers won't like this, cannot be manufactured. Not real glamour; its based on femininity.”
Lessons from MM: Sounds like Marilyn is talking about GoddessLife! We believe that every woman is a Goddess. As a Goddess, you need personal time to nourish and celebrate your feminine spirit. Embrace your femininity and magical things will happen!