My weight as a fitness expert: Before & After AND Before & After AND Before

My weight as a fitness expert: Before & After AND Before & After AND Before

 

Best Compliment about my weight: An astronaut at NASA told me that I have the best body in the Milky Way Galaxy.

Worst Insult about my weight: Being congratulated on my “pregnancy bump” after traveling on the Milky Way chocolate bar path to happiness.

Did any of these interactions about my weight and physical fitness change how I feel about my body? Ennn-ooo.

After years of running GoddessLife, a company I created to empower women, I experienced a series of personal losses and physical injuries. And I let myself go. My buns of steel turned to buns of marshmallows. I stopped exercising and was breathless after a 15 second lap dance for my boyfriend. It was perfectly normal for me to eat a cupcake for breakfast. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did. I was out of control and completely out of shape.

In my Goddess Workout DVDs, books, workshops and Teacher Trainings, I espouse the GoddessLife philosophy. I believe every woman is a goddess and when you awaken the goddess within, magical things will happen. I champion the notion that there is great power and healing in embracing the feminine. And I promote the empowerment that comes with accepting and loving your body just as it is right now. Today. However, as a dancer and teacher, I have been fit and thin my entire life.

I preached a lifestyle that afforded me a magical life. It was authentic. I healed many personal inner wounds and was living my dreams. But I never struggled with weight issues. Part of it is genes and the other is that I had built health and fitness into an integral part of my life. I’m now aware that the following statement can be truly annoying: For most of my life, being thin and fit came easy to me.

Then two years ago, I lost two people who were very dear to me and was sexually assaulted. I was devastated. Food replaced dancing as my comfort. I don’t do anything half-ass and I became a first rate foodie! Initially it was pleasurable. I felt like I was nurturing my broken heart and it was delicious! I celebrated having a bonafide booty and rode my bicycle in my dance leotard for all the world to see.

Soon, I had to buy new jeans to hold the 50 lbs I gained. I embraced my new “mother earth” curves & dimples. But this sentiment was not shared by my boyfriend who told me how hot I used to be and asked if I could get back to my previous weight & shape. He quickly became an ex, but it did hurt. I began to doubt that I was still sexy, attractive and even loveable!

Next stop on the weight train was breaking my leg. And this was a complete stop. I had to keep my leg elevated and couldn’t bear weight on it for 6 weeks. I became completely disconnected from my body and utterly dependent on my friends for my every need. Luckily, I am blessed with the most awesome friends. They turned my broken leg into a summer of slumber parties – complete with bedazzling my cast. They not only helped me heal physically, but they turned my injury into a celebration.

When my cast was removed, so was my low body self esteem and those 50 lbs! But now I was skinny-fat: I was thin, but after not moving my body for 6 weeks, I was flabby. I always say, “A day without jiggling is a day wasted.” Now I had to put my money where my mouth was.

But I believe I had to take this journey, just as a shaman. In order to teach The GoddessLife philosophy, to understand the full spectrum of body issues to be able to understand what most women experience about their body. It doesn’t matter if other people think you are skinny, fat, fit, curvy – it only matters if you love your body. Right now. As it is.

Today I celebrate my body. Healthy. Able to dance. Not as fit as I used to be. But none of that matters. I’ve been fit, skinny, fat, skinny-fat, fat-fit, but what matters is how I feel about my own body. I’ve been on every end of the fitness spectrum and I feel confident to say that I recommend no before & after goals. Love your body today because that is all you have.

41 comments (Add your own)

1. Marife Jeffries wrote:
Thank you for sharing your beautiful story! Love love your message💜. Keep on dancing Dolphina! I've been following you since I got your first Bellydance DVD over a decade ago 😊, collected more & been a fan since!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:06 PM

2. Emma Murphy wrote:
Wow such a beautiful story. How did u get back to looking so fabulous?

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:07 PM

3. Dolphina and Goddess Life wrote:
Emma Murphy - Thanks! Guess I will have to write part 2 smile emoticon

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:08 PM

4. Emma Murphy wrote:
Dolphina and Goddess Life definitely! I've sent you a message X I don't know if you reply x

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:09 PM

5. Dolphina and Goddess Life wrote:
Emma Murphy - thanks for sending me msg - I'm writing a response & part 2

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:10 PM

6. Karen Potter Fields wrote:
You never stop amazing me. You are beautiful inside and out with an amazing soul! Thank you Dolphina!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:11 PM

7. Karen Potter Fields wrote:
You never stop amazing me. You are beautiful inside and out with an amazing soul! Thank you Dolphina!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:11 PM

8. Jerome Fortin wrote:
I got a bit misty eyed, while reading your story, Dolphina.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful message as well

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:12 PM

9. Cynthia Dickman wrote:
Thank you very much for sharing such intimate details about your life. You are a true survivor and your honesty is refreshing. I'm glad you gave chosen to continue to bless this world with your gifts instead of retreating into solitude as many may have done when faced with such obstacles.

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:13 PM

10. Dolphina and Goddess Life wrote:
Cynthia Dickman - Thank you so much! You sound like you understand! I did want to retreat into solitude (and sometimes I do) and I respect the often bumpy journey of healing, but in the process, I learned to love crazy, imperfect me.

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:14 PM

11. Cynthia Dickman wrote:
I wish more women would learn to embrace their imperfections and accept themselves. You are doing a great job of helping women realize the need to love where they are and to stop comparing themselves to others.

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:15 PM

12. Stacie Michele Jones wrote:
I posted some pictures with a baby boy awhile back I was so excited about a Goddess Life baby I couldn't stand it.

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:15 PM

13. Jennifer Sea wrote:
You rock !

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:16 PM

14. Rebecca Lynn Zili wrote:
That picture of you walking your bike is my very favorite of yours. I think you are gloriously and perfectly beautiful in it.

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:17 PM

15. Karla VanAlstine wrote:
My dear Dolphina ~ You have such a beautiful and free-spirited soul!!! We learn from you. You inspire us. And nothing is more fabulous than the picture of you and your bike. Simply prefect! XO!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:17 PM

16. Juliana Powels-Crouch wrote:
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:18 PM

17. Juliana Powels-Crouch wrote:
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:18 PM

18. Dolphina and Goddess Life wrote:
Juliana Powels-Crouch You turned my injury into a celebration and i am forever grateful & miss our summer long slumber party! Can't wait till Beltane!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:19 PM

19. Melissa Palmer Coleman wrote:
I think you are a complete knockout in all the phases of life you've shown. The most beautiful thing about you is that you encourage women to love themselves! If you've ever had a critic, it's simply because jealousy reigns supreme in their lives. Keep doing what you do. You have a beautiful spirit.

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:20 PM

20. 'Dionne Ambert' wrote:
Awesomeness

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:20 PM

21. Mimi Guzman-Duncanson wrote:
Beautiful inside and out!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:21 PM

22. Kelly-Sue O'Connor wrote:
It's my secret Facebook name, it's Kelly-Sue who messaged you. I still plan on taking your course, hopefully soon smile emoticon I totally understand this struggle. Thank you for being inspirational and reminding me to find myself beautiful when I don't really feel that way. xo

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:22 PM

23. Duan Giuffre wrote:
Thank you, Dolphina. My relationship with my body has improved since I discovered your teachings.

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:23 PM

24. Sanndi Thompson wrote:
Thank you for sharing such personal things with us. Just know you will always be loved by your Goddess community no matter what. By you sharing these things, it only just proves even more that you are a normal down to earth gal that loves, hurts, cries, laughs, eats, and just basically lives life as best as she can. I think often many women may think the word Goddess means being perfect, but it doesn't. Goddesses love to feel, live, love and yes even be messy.They love food and wallowing in chocolate, dancing in the rain, creating messes and enjoying the here and now, no matter what size they are. So thank you for sharing your highs and lows with us and you will always be beautiful no matter what!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:24 PM

25. Caramia Hunter-Hope wrote:
I think you are one of the most amazing women I have ever come across! And this post proves it. Thank you for opening up so much and seeing your soul heart emoticon

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:25 PM

26. Rhani Zerimar wrote:
You are a beautiful woman always!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:26 PM

27. Brenda Orr wrote:
This is why I admire and respect you so much!! You are beautifully open, honest, and a true Goddess every step of the way. You are such a Beautiful woman and you have helped so many women find confidence and comfort with their own bodies and sensuality. Weight is a hard battle to fight, I've struggled with it my whole life. I never felt comfortable exercising until I found "The Goddess Workout". I fell in love with it!!! I feel so feminine, powerful, and magical while doing it. You have given a wonderful gift to a lot of women. You are and always will be a Beautiful woman!!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:26 PM

28. Jean Whatley wrote:
thanks for sharing

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:27 PM

29. Patty Baker wrote:
Love this and you.

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:28 PM

30. Timothy Martin wrote:
i'm so very happy you had you epiphany and that you reclaimed your happy! as a psychic I knew what was going on but was powerless to help. all you can do for those you care about is to love them and be there when needed. judging, criticizing, pestering, just don't do any good. so i'm your cheerleader always ready to shout out at the victories and offer empathy for the ouchies. I understand how brave these posts are laying your soul bare for the world to see, but it aint weakness it's strength to be that open! so happy to consider you friend as well as inspiration............you ARE a GODDESS!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:29 PM

31. Andrea Jarrett-El Hamd wrote:
Thank you for this beautiful and inspiring message. So many of us share similar stories of pain, loss, sexual abuse, and injury...many of us have lost the connection with our bodies, and have forgotten how to celebrate who we are in the moment. Thank you for reminding us that we are Goddesses all, in many shapes and forms heart emoticon

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:29 PM

32. Candy Eaton wrote:
You are a goddess period

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:30 PM

33. Kelly De La Rosa wrote:
I admire you're honestly and I can totally relate. My 25 pound weight gain has had me in a rut. But this is inspiring and makes me want to want to get back on the saddle.

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:31 PM

34. Donna Gerrard wrote:
Thank you for the honesty and inspiration Dolphina!! heart emoticon

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:32 PM

35. Chrissy Nola wrote:
congrats dolphina for the honesty!!! u been through alot... please dont get discouraged...i think u are amazing!!!

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:32 PM

36. Nicole Clinedinst wrote:
Well said! This is very inspirational and I know that it will help others to connect.

Sat, April 23, 2016 @ 7:33 PM

37. Mary Gardner wrote:
Dolphina, I am new to the Goddess Community, but already I feel quite at home here. Your post touched my heart, and although you don't know me, I am sending love and friendship your way. Thank you for sharing your story with us and for being such an inspiration.

Mon, April 25, 2016 @ 8:51 PM

38. Rayetta Matovich DeRoss wrote:
Love you gurl!
I miss you tons & christmas parties and sharing my birthday
You are a daily inspiration

Tue, April 26, 2016 @ 9:38 PM

39. Timothy L Martin wrote:
and through each phase there was one constant........you were always and shall always be a GODDESS!

Tue, April 26, 2016 @ 9:39 PM

40. Flavia Berys wrote:
It doesn't get more honest than this post. Thank you so much for baring your soul and for bringing us into your journey and struggles and triumphs 💕

Tue, April 26, 2016 @ 9:40 PM

41. John Costello <jcostello716@yahoo.com> wrote:
Apr 24 (2 days ago)

to me
Milky Ways = I love them, but they don't really love me

-- John C.

Wed, April 27, 2016 @ 12:49 AM

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