My weight as a fitness expert: Before & After AND Before & After AND Before & After

My weight as a fitness expert: Before & After AND Before & After AND Before & After

Best Compliment about my weight: An astronaut at NASA told me that I have the best body in the Milky Way Galaxy.

Worst Insult about my weight: Being congratulated on my “pregnancy bump” after traveling on the Milky Way chocolate bar path to happiness.

Did any of these interactions about my weight and physical fitness change how I feel about my body? Ennn-ooo.

After years of running GoddessLife, a company I created to empower women, I experienced a series of personal losses and physical injuries. And I let myself go. My buns of steel turned to buns of marshmallows. I stopped exercising and was breathless after a 15 second lap dance for my boyfriend. It was perfectly normal for me to eat a cupcake for breakfast. I never thought it would happen to me, but it did. I was out of control and completely out of shape.

In my Goddess Workout DVDs, books, workshops and Teacher Trainings, I espouse the GoddessLife philosophy. I believe every woman is a goddess and when you awaken the goddess within, magical things will happen. I champion the notion that there is great power and healing in embracing the feminine. And I promote the empowerment that comes with accepting and loving your body just as it is right now. Today. However, as a dancer and teacher, I have been fit and thin my entire life.

I preached a lifestyle that afforded me a magical life. It was authentic. I healed many personal inner wounds and was living my dreams. But I never struggled with weight issues. Part of it is genes and the other is that I had built health and fitness into an integral part of my life. I’m now aware that the following statement can be truly annoying: For most of my life, being thin and fit came easy to me.

Then two years ago, I lost two people who were very dear to me and was sexually assaulted. I was devastated. Food replaced dancing as my comfort. I don’t do anything half-ass and I became a first rate foodie! Initially it was pleasurable. I felt like I was nurturing my broken heart and it was delicious! I celebrated having a bonafide booty and rode my bicycle in my dance leotard for all the world to see.

Soon, I had to buy new jeans to hold the 50 lbs I gained. I embraced my new “mother earth” curves & dimples. But this sentiment was not shared by my boyfriend who told me how hot I used to be and asked if I could get back to my previous weight & shape. He quickly became an ex, but it did hurt. I began to doubt that I was still sexy, attractive and even loveable!

Next stop on the weight train was breaking my leg. And this was a complete stop. I had to keep my leg elevated and couldn’t bear weight on it for 6 weeks. I became completely disconnected from my body and utterly dependent on my friends for my every need. Luckily, I am blessed with the most awesome friends. They turned my broken leg into a summer of slumber parties – complete with bedazzling my cast. They not only helped me heal physically, but they turned my injury into a celebration.

When my cast was removed, so was my low body self esteem and those 50 lbs! But now I was skinny-fat: I was thin, but after not moving my body for 6 weeks, I was flabby. I always say, “A day without jiggling is a day wasted.” Now I had to put my money where my mouth was.

But I believe I had to take this journey, just as a shaman. In order to teach The GoddessLife philosophy, to understand the full spectrum of body issues to be able to understand what most women experience about their body. It doesn’t matter if other people think you are skinny, fat, fit, curvy – it only matters if you love your body. Right now. As it is.

Today I celebrate my body. Healthy. Able to dance. Not as fit as I used to be. But none of that matters. I’ve been fit, skinny, fat, skinny-fat, fat-fit, but what matters is how I feel about my own body. I’ve been on every end of the fitness spectrum and I feel confident to say that I recommend no before & after goals. Love your body today because that is all you have.

15 comments (Add your own)

1. Kay Gatti wrote:
Love this Dolphina. It's my secret Facebook name, it's Kelly-Sue who messaged you. I still plan on taking your course, hopefully soon smile emoticon I totally understand this struggle. Thank you for being inspirational and reminding me to find myself beautiful when I don't really feel that way. xo

Fri, December 4, 2015 @ 8:51 PM

2. Duan Giuffre wrote:
Thank you, Dolphina. My relationship with my body has improved since I discovered your teachings

Fri, December 4, 2015 @ 8:52 PM

3. Sanndi Thompson wrote:
Thank you for sharing such personal things with us. Just know you will always be loved by your Goddess community no matter what. By you sharing these things, it only just proves even more that you are a normal down to earth gal that loves, hurts, cries, laughs, eats, and just basically lives life as best as she can. I think often many women may think the word Goddess means being perfect, but it doesn't. Goddesses love to feel, live, love and yes even be messy.They love food and wallowing in chocolate, dancing in the rain, creating messes and enjoying the here and now, no matter what size they are. So thank you for sharing your highs and lows with us and you will always be beautiful no matter what!

Fri, December 4, 2015 @ 8:54 PM

4. Caramia Hunter-Hope wrote:
I think you are one of the most amazing women I have ever come across! And this post proves it. Thank you for opening up so much and seeing your soul

Fri, December 4, 2015 @ 8:54 PM

5. Dani Golightly wrote:
Thank you for sharing this. Exposing your traumas and vulnerabilities to the world takes great courage. It's a powerful thing for us to see that even the people who typically fit into our society's standards of beauty and fitness can and do suffer from all the same things the rest of us do. Not one of us is immune to insecurity, low self esteem or traumatizing experiences. Women are taught that we should be in competition with each other, when we should be empowering each other, regardless of looks, size, race, abilities, etc. I know I've said it before, but this is why I have so much respect for you. By the way, you're absolutely gorgeous no matter the weight or level of fitness.

Fri, December 4, 2015 @ 8:56 PM

6. Rhani Zerimar wrote:
You are a beautiful woman always!

Fri, December 4, 2015 @ 8:57 PM

7. Brenda Orr wrote:
This is why I admire and respect you so much!! You are beautifully open, honest, and a true Goddess every step of the way. You are such a Beautiful woman and you have helped so many women find confidence and comfort with their own bodies and sensuality. Weight is a hard battle to fight, I've struggled with it my whole life. I never felt comfortable exercising until I found "The Goddess Workout". I fell in love with it!!! I feel so feminine, powerful, and magical while doing it. You have given a wonderful gift to a lot of women. You are and always will be a Beautiful woman!!

Fri, December 4, 2015 @ 8:58 PM

8. Jean Whatley wrote:
thanks for sharing

Fri, December 4, 2015 @ 8:59 PM

9. Patty Baker wrote:
Love this and you.

Fri, December 4, 2015 @ 9:00 PM

10. Timothy L Martin wrote:
i'm so very happy you had you epiphany and that you reclaimed your happy! as a psychic I knew what was going on but was powerless to help. all you can do for those you care about is to love them and be there when needed. judging, criticizing, pestering, just don't do any good. so i'm your cheerleader always ready to shout out at the victories and offer empathy for the ouchies. I understand how brave these posts are laying your soul bare for the world to see, but it aint weakness it's strength to be that open! so happy to consider you friend as well as ARE a GODDESS!

Fri, December 4, 2015 @ 9:00 PM

11. Andrea Jarrett wrote:
Thank you for this beautiful and inspiring message. So many of us share similar stories of pain, loss, sexual abuse, and injury...many of us have lost the connection with our bodies, and have forgotten how to celebrate who we are in the moment. Thank you for reminding us that we are Goddesses all, in many shapes and forms

Fri, December 4, 2015 @ 10:07 PM

12. Julia Saa wrote:
I like your message about empowering women. I paid for a certification but I have heard nothing from my communications. Perhaps there is a technical difficulty? Would you please look into this issue?

Fri, December 4, 2015 @ 10:38 PM

13. Dolphina wrote:
@Julia Saa - I just sent you an email with all the materials & next steps that we sent to you on Sept 22. I'm sorry you didn't receive this. You can email me anytime at:

Sat, December 5, 2015 @ 12:37 PM

14. Juliana Powels-Crouch wrote:
Beautiful and honest. Just like you. Love you.

Sat, December 5, 2015 @ 6:06 PM

15. Candy Eaton wrote:
You are a goddess period

Sat, December 5, 2015 @ 6:07 PM

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